Photo Finish
by Red Witch
Summary: The Brotherhood get a new hobby, photography with predictable results.


**Say Cheese! The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own X-Men Evolution characters hasn't been developed yet. Another pointless fic that just rambled into my tiny mind. **

**Photo Finish**

Lance was brushing his teeth when he heard the sound. He looked around with the toothbrush in his mouth and saw to his shock Fred with a camera. "Say Cheese!" Fred called out happily. 

"What the…" Lance blinked as Fred took a picture of him. "Blob!"

"Gotcha!" Fred laughed and ran off.

"I'll get you!" Lance snapped as he chased after him. Todd hopped in front of him and took a picture as well. "TOAD!" He snarled as Todd hopped away. He burst into Fred's room. There was Todd and Fred with dozens of cameras, mostly disposable ones. 

"Okay I'll bite," Lance sighed. "What are you doing with all the cameras?" 

"It's our new hobby," Fred told him. 

"Taking pictures of your housemates in the bathroom?" Lance asked. "You two really need to get out more." 

"No photography!" Fred said. "We've decided to expand our horizons!'

"Considering your horizons consist of eating and sleeping and goofing off that isn't hard to do," Lance smirked. 

"Ha ha," Todd mocked. "Very original. Well we decided to take this up cause there are so many things we can do with it. We can make scrapbooks on us and our friends."

"Oh joy," Lance drawled. "We don't have any friends!" 

A rushing wind announced Pietro's arrival. "We can make special scrapbooks on our greatest triumphs!" Pietro cackled. He whipped out a scrapbook. "I just developed these myself. Here is Daniels covered in garbage. Here he is falling off his stupid skateboard. Being chewed out by Kelly…" 

"Oh brother," Lance rolled his eyes. "Great just what you need Pietro, another way for you to fixate on your obsessions."

"Here's a picture of Kitty in a bathing suit. Now how did that get in there?" Pietro took it out.

"MINE!" Lance grabbed for it. 

Pietro laughed and taunted Lance with it. "You were saying?" 

"Okay, okay I see your point now gimmie it!" Lance reached for it. 

"Oh all right," Pietro handed it to him. "Seeing as I'm in a generous mood today I'll let you have this one for free. The next one's gonna cost you though!" 

"I see what you're saying," Lance nodded. "We can get some extra cash this way." He longingly looked at the picture. 

"Blackmail is so much fun," Fred smiled. He took out a picture. "I got fifty bucks from this jock not to show this picture of him and another girl to his girlfriend. And I got another fifty bucks from his girlfriend when I showed it to her."

"Sweet!" Todd said. "What'd you do with the cash?"

"Take a look around you," Fred said, pointing to the cameras. "Not everybody's as good as stealing as you and Pietro!"

"You spent a hundred bucks on disposable cameras?" Lance yelped. "We could have used that money for food!"

"I didn't think of that," Fred scratched his head. "I wasn't hungry at the time."

"Oh for crying out loud," Pietro groaned. "Figures, the one time Freddy does forget about his stomach!" 

"Hey no problem!" Todd said. "Just think of it as investing in our future, ya know!" 

"For once the Toad has a point," Pietro said. 

"Oh yeah, well listen up geniuses, it costs money to develop those pictures!" Lance snapped.

"Oh," Fred scratched his head. "I didn't think of that." 

"Big surprise," Lance groaned.

"Relax fearless leader," Pietro waved. "I got it covered. I self taught myself how to develop pictures. I saw how they do it in the store and I figured out a way to do it in our basement for free. It only took me a few minutes. Piece of cake!"

"Ooh I could go for cake!" Fred said. 

"Now he thinks of his stomach," Lance groaned. "Oh well, hand me a couple of cameras Toad. Might as well try them out tomorrow. What could happen?" 

************************************************************************

Two days later Lance looked at all the pictures scattered around the kitchen table. "I should have known you guys would have screwed this up!"

Todd and Fred glared at him from across the table. "Well how were we supposed to know Jean would catch on?" Todd snapped.

"She's a mind reader! Duh!" Lance snapped. "Of course maybe she didn't have to read your minds, what with you two geniuses following her around in trenchcoats!"

"We thought we could get proof that she was cheating on Duncan with Summers," Fred said. "We were playing private eye. We just wanted to look the part."

"Yeah we thought we could ya know catch her in the act and sell the pictures to Duncan," Todd scratched his head. 

"Oh yeah that worked well," Lance groaned. "I could hear her screaming from across the school. I'm amazed Duncan didn't kill you Toad!" 

"Well no cause I gave him those pictures of him and that cheerleader," Todd said. "He knows I have the negatives. So he won't dare lay a hand on us!" 

"Summers on the other hand is another story," Fred brushed at his singed clothing. "And we lost a camera when he blasted it. It had some good pictures too!" 

"Hey we still got a couple of dozen left," Todd shrugged. "There's more than where that came from! And we got some good pictures yo!" 

"Oh yeah some pictures," Pietro zipped in holding a few scrapbook like items. "Real masterpieces." 

"Fifty eight pictures of Toad and Blob making faces," Lance groaned. "Yeah, that's a real investment into our future." 

"Yeah what about the twenty something pictures of your Kitty-Kat?" Todd snapped.

"It's for art class!" Lance snapped. "We're making a collage. Besides Kitty took some of me too! It's not like I took them when she was in the girl's locker or anything!"

"Oh well that of course makes it all right," Todd quipped. 

"Lance, you and Kitty aren't in the same art class," Pietro pointed out. 

"Oh yeah then what about you?" Lance snapped. "More stupid pictures of the X-Geeks in trouble?"

"Please," Pietro waved. "I got bored with that idea. I've decided to focus on a subject truly worthy of the camera. Ta da!" He threw down two identical items.

"What the heck is this?" Fred picked it up. "Hey! These pictures are all of you Pietro!" 

"Why does that not surprise me?" Todd quipped. 

"It's a calendar," Pietro smiled. "I call it 'The Wonderful World of Pietro'. I'll sell 'em for twenty bucks each! I've already got five orders in! I'm gonna make a fortune with it!" 

"Figures you'd find a way to make money off your ego," Lance snickered as he glanced through. "I…WHOA!" He threw the calendar away. "Pietro that's disgusting!"

"On the contrary," Pietro sniffed as he picked it up. "I think it's very tasteful!"

"What?" Todd asked. "Let me see yo!"

"Don't!" Lance groaned. "Trust me on this!"

"Why what's the…?" Todd asked just before he took a look. "Oh man that is gross yo!" 

"Let me guess, December?" Fred sighed.

"Yeah," Todd rubbed his eyes. "Oh man I gotta wash my eyes or something!"

"I warned you!" Lance told him.

"I wish somebody warned me before I saw it," Fred groaned. He looked at Pietro. "Weren't you cold?"

"No the lights kept me warm," Pietro explained. "Oh don't over react. It's not like you can see everything!"

"You can see enough!" Todd snapped. "Man how did we end up living with a freaking exhibitionist yo?"

"Please," Pietro grabbed the calendar back. "I am an artist!"

"You are a nut, that's what you are!" Lance groaned. "Does anybody have any reasonably **sane** pictures we can use to make some cash around here?" 

"Yeah," Todd handed him one picture. "I already got thirty bucks from the National Truth Finder for this picture of Blue Boy. This here's a copy!" 

"Oh yeah that'll rake in the dough," Pietro snickered. "Good thing this town is home to one of the world's most pathetic tabloids. They buy pictures of so called spaceships that are obviously two trashcan lids glued together!" 

"Hey wait a minute Toad," Lance frowned. "I'm not so sure that was a good idea! I mean exposing mutants to the media. No matter how lame the paper is it's still pretty rotten."

"Don't worry about it Lance," Pietro told him. "The only people who believe that stuff are even dumber than Blob here!"

"Yeah," Fred nodded. "Hey!"

"Relax Lance," Todd said. "Besides I didn't tell them he was a mutant. I told them he was an alien being kept hostage by the government."

"Oh well in that case it's okay," Lance breathed a sigh of relief. "But in the future Toad don't do that again, unless you consult it with the group."

"You just want to horn in on our cash don't you?" Todd said.

"Bingo," Lance said. "Not to mention getting the stories straight." 

"So how else are we gonna get cash for the pictures?" Fred asked.

"Hey I've got an idea!" Pietro spoke up. "Why don't we sneak into the mansion and try to get pictures of the X-Geeks technology?"

"Are you out of your mind?" Todd snapped. "What am I saying?"

"What?" Pietro asked. "What's wrong with that idea?"

"Quite a bit Einstein," Lance snapped. "Okay let's assume we do get some pictures and we are all **still alive** to sell them! Who are we gonna give them to? Mystique? Magneto? They're history!"

"They could come back," Pietro said.

"Yeah right," Lance scoffed. "Like that's gonna happen!" 

"You're not scared of the X-Geeks now are you?" Pietro challenged.

"Them no," Lance pointed out. "Wolverine however is another story! There is no way I am gonna be a shish kabob I'll tell you that much!"

"Oh yeah," Pietro frowned. "I forgot about him." 

"Well we could still make scrapbooks for ourselves," Todd piped up.

"Yeah!" Fred said. "Let's do that now! I'll get the glue and colored paper!"

"I got the stickers yo!" Todd hopped away.

"Ooh," Pietro looked around. "I'll help. I may get new ideas for my calendar!" 

"Oh brother," Lance rolled his eyes. "I am going to take a shower and try to wash away the stench of failure." He trudged upstairs to the bathroom, trying to ignore their inane chatter. 

He stripped off his clothing and turned on the water, grateful that they were able to take showers at home again. He lathered himself off and let the water drench his body. He was just about to forget about the day when he heard something. He could have sworn he heard a noise. Like a click of a camera. He looked around but couldn't see anything. Lance shrugged and went back to cleaning himself. He lifted his face to let the water wash it.

It was then he saw the tiny camera on top of the ceiling. 

"WHAT THE…?" Lance screamed, reaching for it. Somehow it had been put into place by a small bit of wiring. He turned off the water and yanked it down. 

"Hello," A tiny voice came out of the camera. "This is the Secretmax Camera 2200, the latest in digital transmitting spy technology!" 

"WHO PUT THIS IN HERE?" Lance shouted. 

"This camera will now self destruct," It said. "Have a nice day." 

They could hear the explosion from downstairs. Pietro zipped upstairs. "Lance what's going on?" He pounded at the door.

Lance emerged dripping wet, his face slightly smudged, wearing only a towel. "ALL RIGHT!" He bellowed. "WHO DID IT? WHICH ONE OF YOU CLOWNS DID IT?"

"Did what yo?" Todd asked as he hopped up the stairs. "Whoa! What happened to you?"

"Which one of you sick perverts was taking pictures of me in the shower?" Lance snapped.

"What?" Todd asked. "You're kidding?"

"No I'm not!" Lance said angrily. "It was one of those stupid spy cameras that self destructed!"

"Oh I heard of those," Todd said. "They take digital pictures and zip them to a computer using some kind of radio waves or something. How did that get in there?"

"That's what I'd like to know!" Lance glared at them. 

"Oh come on Lance why would we do something like that?" Pietro folded his arms. "We wouldn't do that to you!"

"I don't know who did it," Lance fumed. "But when I catch that sicko he is gonna pay! I mean what kind of pervert would take a picture of a guy in the shower?" 

Realization hit him. "TABITHA!" 

"What?" She came out of the room, filing her nails. "Nice look Lance."

"Did you take a picture of me in the shower just now?" Lance asked angrily. 

"Just now?" She raised her eyebrows. "No. I didn't take any pictures of you today."

"Well…what do you mean today?" Lance yelped. 

Tabitha smiled sweetly. "Why nothing, Lance. Nothing at all." She then sent off a tiny energy bomb that exploded at his feet, blowing him to the floor. Not to mention his towel off. She laughed and went back into her room.

"Crazy lunatic…" Lance covered himself again. 

"Yeah she's too nuts to be sneaky like that," Todd muttered. 

"Wait a minute," Lance frowned. "If you bozos didn't set up that camera. And if Tabby didn't do it then who did?"

************************************************************************

"Kitty what the heck are you doing in there?" Rogue pounded on the door to their room. "If you don't open up in two seconds…"

"Like relax Rogue," Kitty opened the door. "I'm done anyway."

"What could take you so long in the…?" She stopped when she noticed Kitty was hiding something behind her back. "Aha! What have you got there!" She grabbed it.

"Uh…nothing," Kitty blinked. 

"Oh my," Rogue's mouth opened wide as she looked at the picture. "No way! Lance in his birthday suit? How…?" 

"Hey a girl's gotta have a hobby," Kitty grinned. 


End file.
